Hello Psychonautic community. I am really sorry that I have been gone for so long! Last time I had posted research on this website, I had spoke of what I had believed was the concept of Heaven and Hell, in terms of the conscious mind. Considering Heaven, Hell, and spirituality are all concepts which are man made, only harden my belief that true spirituality is in the mind, implanted inside humans, and not simply something that can't be explained. Although the concepts and truths have yet to be fully understood, the fact that the mind is a truly amazing thing is of no question, even in a fool.
Soon after writing my report on Psychonautic Revelations, I made another attempt at an experiment. Being that most of my studies were committed through my own experiences and the technical education required to understand what I'm doing, I had never come to realize the term "Thumb-Print Dose". Supposedly, a dose of roughly 1000 micrograms of LSD, and that it had been attempted before. Now I am well aware of the danger taking a large amount of a drug which constitutes a saturation in receptors that intensifies due to LSD's sloppy binding profile, (Laymans Terms, LSD's intensity grows greater with higher sheer single dosages, rather than continuous use) but regardless, I live alone and I am of no importance to anyone, except myself. I figured, that if this caused any kind of stringent damage, it would by my own worry.
I find myself still psychedelically "tripping", as I type, if you will, but to no extent I had been prior. I will try to recollect the events, and the lessons which I have come to terms with.
It was sometime in the middle of May, and I decided after reading these ventures of Thumbprint dosing, that I too, would try, and then relay my message to the denizens of the Psychonautic World. I had heard stories of people going "off the grid" if you will, for months and months, but I believed this was surely just folks beating the drum.
I synthesized roughly 25 milligrams of crystalized LSD. Indeed milligrams, which for any of you non-experienced trippers is an almost heroic dose, pressed it onto my thumb, and then onto my tongue. I used a small sample from the synthesis to test for LSD-iso purity, which tested well, and the tastelessness of the substance also proved and compounded my content for the product. With what seemed like a very short moment passing, I began to feel the effects.
I sat in my living room, and for a SPLIT SECOND, I almost regretted what I had done. Almost, but quickly shuttered my fears with self comfort and assurance that I would be okay. I looked down upon my floor, and the oak-wood was shifting, and created a sea like effect on the floor. I remember giggling something about shifting sands. The room then started to seem very spaced out, and boundless. It seemed as if the floor actually had sand on it, and that it blew around in the giant Sahara, that was my living room. In what I now call the "Rise", 40 minute pass from the dose to the peak, I could only do it slight justice. The fact that I am still psychedelically altered may be helping.
I sat in the desert, pondered why I came to be. I wondered where my importance was. And then a memory came to me, that BROUGHT ME TO TEARS. I remembered hearing this quote as a child, that "You may be a person to the world, but you could be the world to one person". I heard the words vividly, and sounded like my father. I have not seen my father in years, but I could see him clearly where my fireplace was in reality. I felt the warmth in his gaze upon me, a love that is only from a loving family. I couldn't describe it any better. It wasn't in that sappy, storybook family love, but this feeling, I just looked at him and felt like because of what I have left in this world, anyone I have ever met, spoken to, that in this, all I really am is the events in life I have created. AND IN THIS! I understood that because these events would be relived again, that I will never truly die. I will be in the existence of those who lived a life like mine. They may not understand, but I am with them, much like Christ is believed to be with those of the Christan affiliation. At that moment, My father molded into a God-like being, with large shining wall behind him, filled with fantastic and psychedelic colors, looking like a blurry carnival. The peak was awe inspiring.
The ideals of religion, and spirituality exploded before my very eyes. As if the very answers of life were presented in front of me. Now, I understand that it would be hard to believe that some no-one, deadbeat from the depths of Louisiana could have been given the answers to life, but I indeed believe that I have seen a truth.
The average life span is about 28,000 days. Filled with 672,000 hours. Made of 40,320,000 minutes, which are filled with billions and billions of tiny moments. With that being said, a person in their lifetime will most likely be in a situation that is similar to mine. Time may pass and times may change, but the core of a human remains the same. Happy. Joy. Anger. Sad.
That meant to me that I will be with everyone at one point in time, and that I have lived a piece of life belonging to millions and millions and millions, infinity of people. We really are one. We, as humans, are not the humans we claim to be. We are all one body, living in seperate entities which sample pieces of life to contribute to the whole, which piece together the human mind. I believe as time passes, humans will evolve as they have from their days of primates. We went from apes, shitting in our kitchen and scratching our ballsacks and picking our hair for bugs, to beings which began to ponder existance, and with thought we delve deeper into thoughts of thought, and thoughts of those thoughts, and why we think them! It make take a long time, long after I, you whoever may be reading, and anyone one we know passes into the ashes, but I believe we will become fully functional with our minds. When our mind becomes 100% useful, we will have the knowledge of all who have lived before you, and all their ancestors.
The quick point: When the mind becomes fully aware. You will see everything. Much like a full trip on LSD. There will be no question of existance, only that you exist. Pure and complete.